A Tale Of Barbecue Sauce

My Uncle Arthur liked to talk, and a gusto for exaggeration, so naturally he told the best stories you ever heard. We'd actually turn the television off, when he started one of his tall tales. My favorite was his version of my grandfather's car accident, an event that occurred at least 20 years back, and the story had improved with every passing year. Every one of us kids called it his barbecue sauce story, and it goes something similar to this :

'My dad, that's your grandpa, liked bbq sauce better than anything on God's green earth,' he would begin,'He would put it on everything he ate, even chocolate cake, and if he did not have barbecue sauce on something, once or more a day, he would get just a little cranky, and it was not that comfortable to be around him when he was,' Uncle Arthur continued with a chuckle.
'That day began badly, and finished worse. It didn't bother him much, as it was tuesday, and the old lady always made a new crop of barbecue sauce Tues. afternoon.'Unfortunately,' he went on,'Eddie, that's's your dad, chose that Tuesday to break his arm, and your grandma had to rush him to the Doctor's.
When supper time rolled around, it was still just us, so we hopped in his ratty old chevy and drove into town. First stop was his fave rib joint, where he purchased us a massive dinner, and extra barbecue sauce to go. Then he dropped me off at the hospital to check on Eddie and Mom, and sped away, for home. He was giving more attention to his stomach than his driving, and sure enough, he got in a terrible wreck.' Uncle Arthur always liked to take a dramatic pause right about then, and after a silent three-count, he would resume. 'It was bad. Your grandpa was taken to the surgery in a coma, and it was anybody's guess if he was ever going to come to. After around a week, my mother had had enough of doctors and infirmaries. It was tuesday, so she took a hotplate to the surgery and started making barbecue sauce right there in Grandpa's room. In ten minutes, that man was awake and asking for his breakfast, although he did not know where he was or how he got there. Some people say it appeared to be a miracle, and some folks say he was going to wake up anyway, but me and Eddie knew it was actually the barbecue sauce!'

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